


Vergissmeinnicht

by EpsilonTonika



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Blood and Gore, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Nightmares, The Author Regrets Nothing, Why Did I Write This?, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 02:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19898035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpsilonTonika/pseuds/EpsilonTonika
Summary: 1. forget-me-not (plant)2. true love, fidelity, long-lasting connection, and remembrance.





	Vergissmeinnicht

**Author's Note:**

> This was a product of school stress and insomnia, it laid in my folder for two months until I picked it up again since the summer break started, so yeah here we are!
> 
> Only the idea, the mistakes and OOC are mine as I am not an English native speaker.

"I love you."

Draven kissed his boyfriend on the forehead. They were gentle kisses and not possessive ones. They all knew - James knew - that Draven differs from the rumors of others. Draven has the appearance of the bravest lion and a warm, kind heart.

He had the hope to kiss James so many times until the later is being persuaded into staying. Although he knew his tries were futile.  
James is being transferred to Site-118.  
He's leaving tomorrow.  
"I love you."  
James said and fell asleep. Draven closed his eyes shortly after.  
Let him enjoy their last night together.  
When he woke up the next day, James already left the bed. He found him in the kitchen. His James, who was wearing an apron and cooking over-easy eggs, who told him to come and eat breakfast, the toast is almost done and whose smile was brighter than the first ray of sunshine penetrating the dark clouds.  
They ate breakfast together. Draven would ask some questions here and there, have you brought enough clothes, did you pack your phone charger, when are you going to come back, and James would smile and tell him not to worry about him, they are transferring him because his help was needed on this one SCP with a bizarre classification, it won't take long to be back at his side, the way you bomb me with questions reminds me of my mom. As Draven retorted what he said, they put the last piece of their bread into their mouth and laughed while they cleaned up the kitchen together.  
James hugged Draven before he left. No matter what the former said as reassurance, the later was still terribly worried. Draven put his nose into James' sweater and soaked himself in the smell of lavender. He didn't want to let go, afraid that once he lets go, James would be gone forever.  
James could feel his worries. Draven used to joke about how they both were like soulmates, no one else could make him feel happier. Back then James didn't believe in these, he would only go along and tell him yeah, if he says so, while leaning on his shoulder. Thinking back on that, James felt like they must have some connection just like Draven described. James patted on Draven's broad back. A frail researcher comforting a strong MTF member, no matter how ridiculous this sounds like to anyone else, both of them knew that James' hugs could always provide Draven with security that no one else can.  
"I love you, don't forget me." James whispered into his ears.  
Draven didn't answer and held the sweater tighter. When he opened his eyes again, the indigo sweater was soaked in blood. The spot James stood was replaced by a pool of blood with James' eyeballs in the middle. The cornflower blue irises bore into him, usually, he would praise them as the most beautiful things in the world, but right now all they could bring him was fear. James' voice echoed in the house, telling him not to forget him. The voice didn't fade away when he covered his ears, it already started haunting him in his head.

Before he could make any sound, Draven opened his eyes again. This time, he was truly awake. The Lorazepam on the nightstand and dried tears on his cheeks confirmed the reality. It was the fifth time he had a nightmare like this. Every time they would meet in different places, every time his lover would leave him in a different way, and when the dream ends, he would always tell him: "Don't forget me."

He got up and left his bedroom. He hadn't eaten anything for two days now, hunger let him make his way into the kitchen like walking dead. There was no James who would wear an apron and cook eggs, no James who would tell him to eat breakfast. The toaster wouldn't make a noise when the toast is ready, and no smile could disperse all the cumulonimbus clouds in his life anymore. Draven never cleaned the kitchen after he heard the grievous news of his boyfriend. Everything seemed to be frozen in time, the dirty plates overlaid on one another in the sink, the water in the plates making a plinking sound as it slowly dropped down. On the kitchen table laid half box cookies and a cup of coffee long turned cold. Draven remembered it being James' favorite flavor of cookies, but now it seemed that it's not necessary to leave these for him anymore. A letter occupied the center of the table, the final judgment of his lover written down in black and white. He so desperately wanted to rip the letter apart or burn it down, but he told himself not to. This letter was the last proof of researcher James Talloran's existence, destroying the letter would mean to destroy the only remain of what was his lover. Draven fell asleep on the desk, holding the letter in his hand like a lifeline.  
This time, he didn't dream.

It was the first time he left the house since a long time. Draven didn't keep in track how long exactly he shut everyone out. Today he had an appointment with Dr. Glass, talking about how he's been lately.

"It's been some time, Draven. How are you feeling?"

"I'm still having those nightmares, those pills didn't help."

He answered in all honesty. It was pointless to lie to the best psychologist of the foundation. Somehow Draven had the guess that the man could see him right through, he was only asking questions for the record (and maybe for Draven's own good).

Glass sighed. He knew what the content of Draven's nightmares was, in fact, the content never changed that much since he talked to Draven about it for the first time. Only it's been half a year since that talk and as it seems it didn't turn for the better. This gave him quite a headache. Draven wasn't the first one to lose loved ones in the foundation and definitely won't be the last, but for someone his age, Draven already lost too much. Glass saw this young man once or twice before said person went through the highs and lows of his lives. He knew that Draven wasn't supposed to be someone who was weighed down by reality, but when you work in a facility like the foundation, you have to be mentally prepared for the loss of people around you. Right now it was one of the rare moments where even he felt a bit helpless. He didn't know how to help Draven further anymore, so he said, I have already prescripted you the best sleeping pills I can give you, the rest is up to you, time will wash away your pain.

He is gone, but you have to keep living.

On a sunny day, Draven went to the cemetery. Walking past those gravestones which only differs from the names engraved on them, he stopped in front of James' grave. He knew that nothing but an empty coffin was buried six feet under, not even a body part. It was said that when they opened the containment room of SCP-3999, the only thing left was different sized pools of blood spreading in the room like puddles of water after rain, no signs of researcher Talloran were detected. Some people theorized he was swallowed by SCP-3999, some even rumored him to be SCP-3999 itself. Nonetheless, no one could survive after losing that amount of blood. So one week after that, Draven received that letter and a foundation star.

They held James' funeral on a rainy day. Although people call him a hero, James was only an insignificant researcher. All of the only few people who actually knew him personally were there. After the priest finished his duty with an "Amen", people left one by one, save for Draven and Dr. Clef who was holding an umbrella for the both of them.

Draven kneeled on the grass, trying futilely to hold back everything related to James. The smell of lavender refresher still lingered in his nose and he could still remember how James' hair felt like under his fingers, but the cold gravestone slapped him in the face with the cruel truth. 

He wouldn't come back anymore.

Ever.

Clef stayed with him in the cemetery for some time, before he left he told Draven: "He wanted you to keep living."

Thinking back on that day, Draven had no idea either why the past friend of his father showed up at the funeral. There was practically no connection between Clef and James, so maybe he showed up out of pity for Draven. After all, Draven had no one else like a friend or relative anymore except for Clef. Anyway, he was grateful that he came. He stared at the name on the gravestone for a long while after he places the bundle of forget-me-nots on the grave.

"I will never forget you."


End file.
